operation harelip BJ is a go
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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