As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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