ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
im holly from the hills drunk
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize