Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
