I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
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And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
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My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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