the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
