she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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