Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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