I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
