talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
