Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
