she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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