if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
