ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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