Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
