It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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