elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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