mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
