People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just found puke in my bra..
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
