Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
