no, he came in my armpit
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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