He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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