What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize