We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
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