oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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