is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
