So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
