So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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