Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize