My brain says no but my pants say off.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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