I think I am morally bankrupt
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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