I'm really into asian looking animals
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
