Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
