***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize