Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Don't make out with my wife yet
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize