I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
