Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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