fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
