butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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