I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
