why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
