If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
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Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
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WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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