Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
