I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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