community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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