There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
