dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
