Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We are all done wearing pants today
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
