I hope mine doesn't look like that
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize