I'm going to jail i love you
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize