In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
