Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize