I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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