called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
