she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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