We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
