I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
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