you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Randomize
