Sponge bath it is.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My life is pants optional.
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