It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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