We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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