After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
