forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I came so hard my ears popped.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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