You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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