Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
